I have very much neglected this blog and feel poorly about that, mainly because it helps me to be able to write out my thoughts and to cope with this disease I have been blessed to have. Two posts I had intended on writing would have been: Stress and Crohn's as well as a post about preparing for surgery. Perhaps I will still write those at a later date, but for now I want to talk New Year's resolutions.
For those who actually read this blog or follow me on Twitter, you may or may not have known that I had surgery. If not, then now you know! I went in on December 12 to Massachusetts General hospital for my left colectomy (had a portion of my colon removed on my left side). Everything went as planned and since then I've been living the couch potato life for the most part as I recover. There were some very painful moments in my first week home from the hospital, and I have to thank my dad, sister, friend Jess, and boyfriend for being ready at all hours to help me when needed. One day in particular we learned the power of narcotics making you constipated as I cried and screamed while rock hard bowel movements moved through my recently sliced and sewn colon, scaring my dad and boyfriend in the process. That was a miserable day for certain. But now being a couple of weeks since, I am starting to feel like a real person again, and even better, I can tell how symptom free I am going to feel! And THIS is where my New Year's resolution comes in.
Each year people take the time to focus on things they need to improve, things to work on to make themselves a better version of who they want to be. Lose weight, eat healthier, work out more, be a better friend, significant other, parent. A lot of times resolutions are broken as the year progresses, naturally. A lot of times these resolutions merely add more stress to our lives than bettering them. The year 2013 was both a very good but also very bad year for me. While I had great moments with friends and family, I became the sickest I have ever been since my diagnosis of Crohn's in 2011. Starting in May I became a person whom merely exists: going to work, staying at home, sleeping as much as I could, spending way too much time in the bathroom, and not engaging in activities I love, due to always needing a bathroom. I was in a lot of daily pain, constantly exhausted and forever stressed. In 2011, I graduated college weighing 130 lbs, which was a healthy weight for my size (just to give you perspective). By December of this year I weighed 90 lbs. In 2013 alone I was on a slew of antibiotics multiple times, remicade, methotrexate (pill and shot form), imuran, humira, and cimzia. I feel as if I'm forgetting one to two medications, but you get the idea. Nothing worked, and I kept feeling worse as the months proceeded me. Finally in October, I scheduled myself for surgery. I'm already starting to see that this was the best end of the year decision I could have made. Though it is unknown with Crohn's if having this surgery will help me feel better for months or years, I am grateful to be able to say I feel better for however long I can.
So what is my resolution for 2014? Simple: to live life to the fullest. Crohn's may not be as life threatening as something like cancer, but it has taught me what it is like to be debilitated; to be exhausted and to not live and enjoy as you were once able to, especially being only 24 years old. I plan on spending each moment possible of 2014 running, playing, laughing, loving, EATING, painting, reading, skiing, etc etc etc. I plan on focusing on destressing, as we know stress is not good for us in general, but especially us chronies. The year 2013 has really embedded the classic cliche "life is too short" and I'm ok with saying that because it's true.
I hope everyone out there in the world had a wonderful holiday season for whatever holidays you celebrate. Here's to a new year, and to new chances to live life to the fullest!
